My gift to porcine creatures everywhere: I am officially sick of bacon.
Jesus whirling christ, but I am tired of hearing about everyone’s obsession with bacon. And as though that weren’t bad enough, now everything in the world has to taste like bacon, smell like bacon, blahdeeblahdeeblah. Oh, bacon-flavored chocolate bars! Oh, bacon scented candles! Oh, Band-Aids that look like bacon! Yes, ha ha ha, how incongruous.
Let’s go back to being obsessed with pesto, like we were 25 years ago (yeah, I know I’m pretty much the only one reading this who will even remember that). ANYTHING. I’d even accept some ridiculously high-end obsession so that everyone can be really really impressed with how oh-so-very foodie we’ve all become. But right now, how about you just throw some good old Oscar Meyer into a pan and Shut. The Fuck. UP, especially since you know goddamned well you can’t tell the difference between that and your precious Niman Ranch stuff anyway.
I remember the pesto era. Or rather, I remember my mom starting to buy pesto regularly. (Sorry, that got awkward really fast, Laura. My bad.)
The problem is, this bacon thing won’t go away until something else replaces it. Let’s decide right now. My vote goes to curry. There is a curry chocolate bar you can get that I think is tops. And I’m sure some visit to one of my favorite curry places in the near future, I’m going to become incensed at how one of the staff says they don’t have veggie curry anymore, or else how another staffer has been lying to me that they do and I’ve been eating the chicken-stock curry, and I’m going to get really angry and write a bad review on Yelp. I totally will! And then I’ll tumblr it OH SHIT THERE I GO AGAIN WITH THE IMMANENTIZING THE ESCHATON AIYAH MY BAD YOU GUYS.
And I’m calling it now: someone’s going to post bacon curry in response. Might as well go all the way on this one.
(No, seriously, I agree, wtf bacon.)
Source: frothyparadise
