Four years and three days ago

  • Jason: Oh, and I'm now at 86 sprites, still no volcano.
  • Sam: wow.
  • Jason: Yeah. I wonder if I have to complete the 8 tasks of so many levels first.
  • Jason: Because I've only gone totally through... four? I think? Out of seven?
  • Jason: And almost done with two, and just giving up on the harbor because of the blooper/red coin thing.
  • Sam: heh
  • Jason: Damn you volcano!
  • Jason: All I wish is to be cleansed in the purifying lava!
  • Jason: And like, get the chick and stuff.
  • Sam: Suprisingly out of character for you.
  • Jason: Well, you know, it's called method acting.
  • Sam: ooo
  • Jason: Like, "If I were a midget cartoon Italian plumber, what would my motives be?"
  • Sam: true.
  • Jason: Apparently it's to get the chick.
  • Sam: I don't get it.
  • Sam: She looks like an inflatable barbie doll. MOST. VAPID. EXPRESSION. EVER.
  • Jason: Midget cartoon Italian plumbers are apparently not all that big on feminism.
  • Sam: point.
  • Jason: I guess they have enough problems already.
  • Jason: Like "Where are the coins?"
  • Jason: And "Can I get to the coins?"
  • Sam: So, it's an economic game.
  • Sam: Coins == Chick Procurement
  • Jason: Right. Get enough coins and the girl is yours.
  • Jason: There's already a built-in reward for becoming a centurinaire.
  • Sam: Hmph.
  • Sam: Coins also equal health.
  • Jason: Supporting the privatized health sector.
  • Sam: Basically meaning, that money, vitality, and getting it on with a plastic princess are equal concepts in the eyes of the writers.
  • Jason: Not only concepts, but worthwhile goals.
  • Sam: True. Without these things, Mario would still be in the Bronx, only making subsistence living.
  • Jason: But he fell down the right pipe and is now living large with his MAP (Mushroom-American Princess).
  • Sam: Wow.
  • Jason: Yeah. Lucky break, maybe.
  • Sam: Video Game Colloquium: Mario as PimpMaster
  • Jason: Royalty for his bitch.