windycitygirl:

incline:

implodr:

Eagle Man Commercial

I was living in northern Illinois—the Eagle Man epicenter—when these ads started airing. Eagle Man was quickly replaced by Eagle Woman when somebody (presumably) said, “Oh hey, right, haha, only GIRL eagles lay eggs!”

Couple Eagle Man with the Empire Carpet Guy and you’ve got a double dose of reasons not to turn on the TV in Gurnee, IL.

Actually, this commercial was playing for ages before you moved to northern Illinois. I can remember seeing these ads as far back as early grade school, so Eagle Man was defying nature for years and years before they replaced him with Eagle Woman.

I absolutely remember these from at least my college years (Chicago, Schaumburg). Except… this one’s been edited. He used to just say “I’ve got something… fo-or yoooouuu!” And he’d squat down, and then a quick cut in and there’d be an egg. And then the OMG expression on the driver, the hatch, the awwwww, yeah. When the hell did they add it coming out of…?… whatever Eagle Man’s got to produce eggs, because incline called it on the Eagle Man/Woman thing.

And yeah, we all have the phone number to Empire Carpeting etched into our minds, and don’t forget about the dude with the armbands, his car door, and Victory Auto Wreckers.

Source: implodr