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somehedgehog: Adventuring Party Politics: The Campaign is Getting Ugly

GM:  OK, the bugbear attacks you.  What do you do?
OBAMA: I send one of my 672 henchmen after it.
MCCAIN:  OK, seriously.  Why does he have so many henchmen?  I’m a level 72 ranger and he’s only a level 8 paladin.
OBAMA:  Well, if you’d bought the Grassroots Organizing and Oratory/Colgate Smile proficiencies you could min max it so that you…
MCCAIN: Why is he even IN this campaign? I thought this was supposed to be a high level party.
OBAMA: Well, maybe some people got tired of the grim and squinty “Matterhorn, son of Marathon” shtick you keep doing.  Dude, could you be any less original?
MCCAIN: Oh my god, I did not leave my left nut in a tiger cage in the Tomb of Horrors to spend my Friday nights mopping up after the new kid.
OBAMA: “My friends, I am a totally unoriginal grizzled character class stereotype.  I should lead the party because I have more testicular damage than that one.”
MCCAIN: Yeah, well, you pal around with dark elves.

  • 3 years ago
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Recurring themes: LGBT issues, San Francisco tidbits, ukuleles, pirates, games, absurdism. I won't really talk about myself here, but you'll get a sense of me, anyway.

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